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A big blonde brassy woman. A cartoon character – until you get to know her. But isn't that true of all of us?I probably come across as a bit of a cliché myself. The stereotypical middle class liberal with my worthy job in a Pupil Referral Unit and my slightly scruffy flat filled with books, cats and my slightly scruffy children. I am middle aged and in the eyes of the world totally past it, cruising my way towards menopause and eventual death. I am a woman of a certain age; I have been around the block and back again. I am part of the story but it is definitely not all about me; I am aware that I am of limited interest. My name is Rachel Evans – in case you were wondering – and my job is to guide you into the story and introduce you to my world.I know I have a tendency to lecture – amongst many other things I am a teacher and used to holding forth – but I also have a desire to entertain. I want to make you laugh and cry and smile and shout with joy as you descend into the world I am. She is tired, but agrees quickly to do the interview.Ariana is dressed in a gray Bikini style top and White pants. She is covered in sweat and looking sexy. Her hair is soaked, but she still looks good. I’m seated in this red chair, and when Ariana seats herself, it’s in the chair directly in front of me. Her handlers leave the room, to tend to other matters. Ariana is slouched down in her chair. I go through the bullshit routine questions, and I can tell she’s annoyed.“Sorry for the questions,” I said, “They are my bosses idea, I know you’ve heard them 1,000 times.”“Try 10,000.” She said, with a kind smile.“I’m sorry if they bug you, you look tired.” I said.“Very tired, came her reply, “I’ve been on the road for 200 days and if it weren’t for Bob, I’d be over stressed.”“Bob?” I replied, missing what she was talking about.“Battery Operated Boyfriend,” She replied, wiping her face with a towel, “It been a while since I had a true sexual release.”“Yeah, I know that feeling,” I replied,.
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